Anyway, today was one of those days where I knew I had a slim chance at making it out by 6, and realized as I ran to my car at 6:12 (repeating "maybe I'll still make it" to myself as I ran) that I had left my gym bag at home today. Le sigh. One of those days.
When things like this happen, when I feel suddenly out of control, plans suddenly all messed up, I get frustrated. I am a planner. I like for my plans to happen, well, according to plan. This is something I am trying to be better at this year, this whole flexibility thing. Not stressing out because things go awry, being more spontaneous, etc etc etc. Things I'm not good at.
When faced with situations wherein I feel all control has been lost, I usually feel the need to complete a task. Most often, this task is cleaning. It's like my brain says, "Well, that plan went to hell. You better at least clean up around here." So, tonight, when I came home, I took the microwave and toaster oven out of the kitchen and scrubbed the counter tops. Then, I went downstairs and cut some flowers to replace the daffodils that had seen better days. I also fixed the jiggly toilet seat (don't ask, just one more thing that was broken around here), started a load of laundry, dusted the dining room table and bookshelf, and mopped the kitchen floor. I only spent about an hour and fifteen minutes doing this stuff, but I feel better.
Crazy Aunt Purl wrote this today: "When my space is messy I feel messy inside." I know exactly how she feels (seriously, it's like she wrote it from the inside of my brain). I can tolerate a certain level of clutter, but it's a pretty low level...and it gets lower if my brain is tired or irritated. A clean apartment lifts my mood; it calms me down just to look at things all neat and tidy, especially if it's because of my elbow grease. It says, "Hey look! I did some work, and now things look nice!" Just feels good.
Now I have pretty flowers to look at, and laundry getting done, and a slightly cleaner apartment. I will probably also file the papers that are sitting on the coffee table, just for kicks. At least I'm turning my night into something productive - and cleaning burns calories, right?
