The Bad Blogger

I know that not posting for a week isn't the end of the world, but I still feel bad when I post out of order or late or whatever (ie: finishing the weekend roundup a week after I started writing it). To my loyal tens of readers, I do apologize.

I am feeling very unlike myself. Forgetting things, having a messy apartment, not cleaning the bathroom, not having food in the house. Scattered and headachy and just generally un-me. I think it's the stress of traveling so much coupled with general work stress and the anxiety I always feel when things start changing. I don't do very well with adapting to change, and I'm trying to be better about it, being more spontaneous and all that. And I have gotten better about making last-minute plans and not stressing the small stuff etc etc etc...but what I am not better about is approaching large decisions without trepidation. I'm such a planner by nature, that the thought that something might change without my controlling the outcome is just terrifying. I think I've always been that way. I'm almost positive that I've blogged about it before.

The point is, I tend to be fantastic at managing my time until something throws me off, whether it be lots of traveling or a surprise amount of tasks to finish at work or anything really. And then I get overwhelmed by all that I need to do, and I have to separate my brain into to-do list items and write it all down on paper (not computer, only paper). I need to hold a physical list that I have written in my own writing so that I can regain control over my life - which sounds more dramatic than it should. I did this last week, and I think I need to re-do it a little. My brain is just sort of a mess right now, and I need to make sense of some of it. I think that after I clean up my apartment a bit I will feel better (the bathroom sink and the toilet in particular just annoy me every time I look at them), and as much as I hate to say it, when my NY trip is over I will relax a bit.

Not that I'm not looking forward to it, because I absolutely am. It's just the planning, and the sort of haphazard way I'm throwing the trip together with a lot of "play it by ear" and "we'll see" plans is making me feel more stressed out than freed of the burden of a schedule. And I'm leaving on Friday afternoon. But when I get back, I'll go to the grocery store and fill my house with food (it is currently quite barren) and will get back to a semi-normal routine of going to work and hanging out after work, which I honestly like quite a bit.

All this after work packing and laundry and pretending to clean when I'm really just moving things around is exhausting!!!

I did have a great time this weekend though, at the Lair of the Golden Bear, with The Boy and his coworkers/bosses. Even though it was super cold at night, a couple days of hiking and hanging out in the mountain air made up for it! :-) I'm so glad it's camping season!

And with that, I leave you for today. I have an awful lot of Google Reader reading (836 unread items??? What?!?) to catch up on, and I think I've run my mouth as long as I could. I'll probably share some items as I read through it, so if you're not on Google Reader, you can check out the other little things I've posted at my Shared Items Page (or by looking at the pink sidebar item on the left) over the next few days. Enjoy!